The Complex Beauty of Motherhood: Joys, Responsibilities, Privilege & Fears

livelifeenrichment
May 8
3 min read

Motherhood is a journey that changes you forever—mind, body, and soul. As a mother of two incredible adult children now aged 37 and 40, I find myself reflecting more often on the richness of this journey: the highs, the heartbreaks, the healing, and the hopes that carried me through. I came from a dysfunctional, single-parent home. Chaos, survival, and uncertainty were my early teachers. I grew up dreaming of something different—a “perfect little family,” one where laughter filled the kitchen, problems were talked about (not screamed about or ignored), and love was the steady heartbeat of home. That dream became my blueprint as I stepped into motherhood. I wasn't just raising children—I was breaking cycles, building something new, and healing parts of myself in the process.

The Joys

Let’s start with the good stuff. The joy. The tiny hands reaching for yours. The family camping vacations. The proud-parent moments that fill your heart to the brim. Watching your children grow into the people they were meant to be—there’s no greater reward. And joy doesn’t always come with fireworks. Sometimes it's just a quiet morning together, a shared joke, or knowing they’re out there living their lives in ways that reflect their strength and kindness.

The Responsibilities

Motherhood is a role with no clock-out time. You are caregiver, teacher, advocate, nurse, coach, and so much more. The weight of responsibility is immense—not just for keeping them safe, but for shaping their worldview, instilling values, and helping them learn to love and be loved. There were times I felt crushed under the pressure. I wanted to give them everything I didn’t have, but I also had to learn to give myself grace. I wasn’t perfect—and neither were they. And that had to be and still is okay.

The Fears

Ah yes, the fears. They don’t disappear as your kids grow up—they just change. Early on, I feared scraped knees and stranger danger. Now, it’s things like their mental well-being, their heartbreaks, or the pressures they carry in silence. Sometimes I still wonder, Did I prepare them well enough? Did I miss something? But I try to remember that fear is just love in disguise. It reminds me how much I care—and invites me to keep showing up with love instead of control.

The Privilege

Despite the trials, I recognize motherhood as a privilege. It’s a sacred trust to be given a child, to help another soul navigate this complex world. It’s not a guarantee or a right—it’s a gift. That privilege extends into the present. Though my children are grown, I still get to witness their lives, offer guidance when asked, and be a safe place they can always return to. That is an honor I do not take lightly.

Living in the Moment: My Mother’s Final Gift

A few years ago, I became my mother’s full-time caregiver as she navigated the final stages of dementia. It was hard—no sugarcoating that. But it was also filled with unexpected beauty. Dementia has a way of stripping away the past and future, leaving only the now. And in that now, we laughed (even at the same joke ten times), danced in the kitchen with no music, and shared simple moments that somehow felt eternal.

That was her last gift to me: the gift of living in the moment. And now, I try to carry that with me every day—in life, and especially in motherhood. I’m far from perfect, but my love for my children is limitless. I hope they feel it in their bones. I hope they know their happiness means the world to me.

A Note to Other Mothers

Whether you're raising young children, guiding teenagers, or navigating the ever-evolving relationship with your adult children, know this: You are doing sacred work. You are enough. Your presence, your effort, and your love matter more than perfection ever will. And if, like me, you came from a place that didn’t model healthy love or stability, know that it’s okay to grieve what you didn’t have. But also celebrate what you’ve created. The cycle can stop with you. And that’s a powerful legacy. Motherhood is a patchwork of joy and pain, privilege and pressure, dreams and reality. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

With love and solidarity,

A Very Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers! (and for those reading on facebook, please feel free to post a picture of you and your mother in the comments - along with a memorible lesson your mother taught you.)