The Deep Human Need to Care—and Be Cared For: What Pets Teach Us About Love and Validation

livelifeenrichment
Jun 8
3 min read

The Need to Care: A Quiet Calling

There’s something deeply fulfilling about caring for another being. Whether it’s feeding, grooming, walking, or simply showing up, the act of tending to a pet taps into our innate drive to nurture. Psychologists describe this as a form of “other-focused purpose”—a sense of meaning that arises not from self-achievement, but from responsibility and love extended outward.

After my 28-year marriage ended, I brought home a little Shih Tzu named Bella. She became more than a pet—she became my companion, my comfort, and my purpose. For 16 years, it was she and I. In many ways, caring for Bella helped me heal. She gave me a reason to get up, to keep going, and to focus my love in a new direction.

When we care for a pet, we experience a small but powerful form of agency. Our actions matter. They lead directly to the well-being of another creature. To know that “you” are the reason your pet is thriving—that your presence calms, feeds, protects—grounds you in a purpose that is simple, clear, and deeply rewarding.

And for those who may be in a life stage where caregiving roles have shifted—children grown, retirement underway, or partners lost—the opportunity to continue expressing love and usefulness can be healing.

The Need to Be Cared For: Receiving, Not Just Giving

But we are not made only to give. As human beings, we also long to be cared for—to feel seen, understood, and loved. This is where the relationship with a pet becomes quietly powerful. While pets may not bring us soup when we’re sick or listen to the details of a rough day in the way a partner might, their loyalty, affection, and consistency often offer a profound sense of being loved unconditionally.

Bella went everywhere with me. She sat beside me during lonely nights, traveled with me on road trips, and was a quiet constant in every chapter of my new life. Her love was wordless but undeniable. It was a daily reminder: “You matter. You are enough. You are not alone.”

Being cared for—whether by a pet, a person, or a community—affirms our worth. It reminds us that we are lovable not because of what we produce or how we perform, but simply because we exist. Bella provided that for me. The validation of being loved.

A Relationship of Mutual Healing

This reciprocal dynamic—of caring and being cared for—makes pet companionship so uniquely rewarding. Many pet owners report that their animals “saved” them in some way: from loneliness, from depression, from grief. I can say with certainty that Bella saved me. Her presence brought joy into days that felt empty, and her energy softened the sting of solitude.

While I may have thought I was the one caring for her, I now know she was caring for me just as much. Over time, it becomes clear that the love flows both ways.

This exchange also teaches us about balance. When we give without receiving, we burn out. When we receive without giving, we can feel aimless or unworthy. Pets help restore that balance in a gentle, nonjudgmental way.

Beyond Pets: What This Reveals About Our Humanity

Caring for pets can awaken us to our broader emotional landscape. It reminds us of how crucial connection is—to feel needed “and” to feel nurtured. In our human relationships, this same dance plays out. We thrive when we are allowed to give love freely and when we are open to receiving it in return.

If anything, pets model a version of this that’s uncomplicated. They don’t play emotional games. They’re not concerned with power or ego. They simply exist in a state of mutual dependence, trust, and affection—and invite us to do the same.

Final Thoughts

At the core of our relationship with pets is something achingly beautiful: the realization that love, care, and connection don’t need to be grand to be profound. Sometimes, they come quietly—on four legs, with fur, and a heart that beats in rhythm with your own.

Bella’s passing a year ago was one of the hardest experiences of my life. Her absence is felt daily, but so is her lasting impact. She gave me more than joy—she gave me strength, healing, and the quiet validation that I was loved just for being me.

To care is to express the best of what it means to be human. And to be cared for? That is the balm that reminds us we are never truly alone. Bella allowed love to exist freely and without fear.

To Bella, and all of the pets who offer us the validation of love –

Thank you!